Autism

2 lurkers | 90 watchers

Fellrunning May 2013 10:36am, 13 May 2013 851 posts	0 Fellrunning Yes what Vrap says. What HE needs is YOUR support love and understanding. A diagnosis wont change your view of him, and it shouldn't change anyone else's. If it does then their motivation comes into question IMHO.
jono May 2013 10:53am, 13 May 2013 12,047 posts	0 jono DD Good luck with the visit to the Doc's - Mrs J has a few friends whose children are on the ASD, some refuse to entertain the fact even after diagnosis - which to me is plain daft. Anyway the diagnosis should be seen as a way of helping your child, not putting a label on them. If he is diagnosed early then this could help him later on in life and with school - it may be that he can handle school at the moment, but as he progresses then school may become more difficult - not because of his intelligence, but the dealing with the every day stuff and his relationship with other children. take one step at a time DD - Best way. Joe told us on what day he would be 21 a while ago, he was a day out.
Chrisull May 2013 11:25am, 13 May 2013 5,501 posts	0 Chrisull DD - as mentioned - yesterday - K's advice was at the GP ask for a referral to CAMs, and specifically mention that you would like the possibility of "attachment disorder" investigated - en.wikipedia.org . And remember you will be able to find educational professionals ready to help and agree a "non autism diagnosis" if you don't feel it's accurate.
Discovery Dave May 2013 1:05pm, 13 May 2013 12,246 posts	0 Discovery Dave Dear Mrs TEACHER Thank you for sharing the school’s ongoing concern over B's behaviour, and suggesting that we might contact our GP with a view to having him assessed for ASD tendencies. His ongoing difficulties are obviously a big concern for us, too, and if this is something that will help we will, of course, pursue it. We have therefore seen the doctor today, and requested a referral to an educational psychologist. However, I am wary of going down this one track in isolation – particularly when there may be other avenues that might also offer an explanation about the way B has been behaving. For example, at an event the school recommended in B's reception year, a speaker from the National Association of Gifted Children listed several behaviours that are common among the children they work with. Issues like excessive perfectionism, persistent challenges to authority, physical and emotional hypersensitivity and extreme reactions to perceived injustice – virtually a “tick list” for B. More broadly, they also spoke about Asynchronous Development – the idea that children who develop quickly intellectually often struggle to mature socially and emotionally. We really appreciate all the effort the school goes to, to differentiate for B academically. Perhaps – given the frequency of social issues experienced by gifted children – there might be some specialist strategies and support available in this area too? Likewise, we’ve never really looked into the impact of our marital separation; just kept an eye on things, and concluded that B and H seem fine. However, if there are behavioural issues emerging that coincide – particularly where B seems to be attention-seeking (casting himself as ‘class clown’ in some social groups, being bossy, etc), then the possibility of some kind of impact – whether Attachment Disorder or something less defined – probably shouldn't be ruled out. If an ASD diagnosis turns out to be most accurate and helpful thing for B, then that's good, but it needs to be right. I'm worried that it can be very easy to see supporting evidence everywhere once there's a theory in mind. On the helpful list of observations about B the school prepared, many of the behaviours mentioned – controlling, belittling others, lack of respect, not responding well when struggling, etc – are common to many young children of B's ability, so they might, or might not, be evidence of other issues. I might add that he's also very tactless and frequently impatient. But it's not easy to be singled out (intentionally or unintentionally) your whole life, and then behave appropriately with your peers. (While I'm writing, I should also mention there are a couple of difficulties listed that I don't recognise in B at home. He doesn't seem to struggle with change – at least not to any excessive degree – and has always seemed able to read non-verbal cues... whether he deigns to respond to them, of course, is a different behavioural matter!) Equally, because of the wide variety of the ASD spectrum, it's very easy to dismiss contra-indictions: the sense of humour that won him Mr TEACHER's “special talent” award, the imaginative thinking – and (sadly) the fact he can lie very successfully! In short, I wonder if considering several options and approaches in parallel might ultimately lead to a more rounded view, and a better result. While the referral and assessments are being completed, do you think it would be possible to seek some input from the County Gifted & Talented co-ordinator at Cornwall Learning – in case they have any resources, strategies, insight or experience on the social and emotional development side in particular? The internet suggests BLOKE at OFFICE might be a good contact. Likewise, we have kept the psychologist referral to broad terms at this stage – to look at the issues themselves, rather than providing a yes/no diagnosis on a named theory – and a Health Visitor has been requested, to give an all-round approach. Naturally, we will keep you updated about progress. To re-iterate, I am always very grateful to the school for the special efforts you go to on B's behalf. I am aware he is not the easiest student to cater for, and the way he has settled and grown at school is a credit to you all – and I know EX feels the same way. Hopefully, by continued collaboration and communication, we can get to the bottom of this issue and find an answer together. In the meantime, if you'd like to discuss this further, please don't hesitate to get in touch. Yours sincerely
jono May 2013 1:23pm, 13 May 2013 12,059 posts	0 jono too many words for the teachers but no, its good to approach this with an open mind. When Joe was diagonised he was coming up to 6 - we were pushing for something more definitive and our child Psycologist did say that they were reluctant to give children an early diagosis - for the same reasons many have pointed out - the children are young nad have yet to develop.
Johnny Blaze May 2013 1:29pm, 13 May 2013 17,938 posts	0 Johnny Blaze It's quite a long letter. I'd stick it into three sections. Where we are now Where we want to be How do we get there and what I'd like to do Closing remarks That's 4 sections...
Pestomum May 2013 1:32pm, 13 May 2013 2,984 posts	0 Pestomum Your XH is also in her son's corner. Letter looks good, but agree it's long.
Cyclops May 2013 3:24pm, 13 May 2013 730 posts	0 Cyclops I was going to suggest gifted as a possible reason for his 'difference' at school - a lot of children are surprisingly unintelligent and it must be so frustrating for anyone with half a brain, let alone a whole one, to sit through lessons at the pace you have to go at sometimes. I once had a boy in my class who, partway into a particularly tedious maths lesson where I had to keep repeating myself, just stood up and shouted Yeeha and waved an imaginary lasso around his head. I knew exactly how he felt.... After that wherever possible he had something meaningful to do (because he could manage with a quick explanation and then sort himself out) then the rest of the class and I could plod on. He was 6.
Chrisull May 2013 3:39pm, 13 May 2013 5,503 posts	0 Chrisull I think that's an excellent letter and at 700-800 words , while you could edit the odd line here or there, I don't think it is too long. You should see the length of things K deals with on a daily basis! (Incidentally, she mentioned this morning the "feminisation" of primary education, with its changed emphasis and the focus on the social and emotional sides, and taking part and joining in mass activities, which has led to a model that doesn't suit many young boys, although I don't think that's something you can raise too easily with any school. It's like it lurched from one extreme to the other. None of my children has had a single male teacher from nursery - to the oldest now leaving primary school)
Columba May 2013 3:56pm, 13 May 2013 1,998 posts	0 Columba DD - I think that's a wonderful letter. It may or may not be too long for the teacher; but if I'd had a letter like that passed on to me (as EP) in my working days, I would have been very happy to have such a thorough and thoughtful analysis of the situation as a starting-point.