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Jul 2021
11:16pm, 7 Jul 2021
3,669 posts
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phal
Blimey. I was going to write something on here about football.
Turns out it’s not the flippant thread I thought it might be.
I was going to walk away and not post but I can’t.
I’ve been through IVF. It was fucking awful. It was unsuccessful. I’m not going to share our reasons or feelings about it because they are personal. And nobody ever has the business to ask anyone about it or their reasons behind it; but narcissism? Really?
I feel deeply sorry for all of those whose treatment was affected by the pandemic.
I am gobsmacked though. I am surprised at the callousness of some of the comments.
And as for suggesting adoption instead. Blimey. I have deep respect for anyone who adopts as I have worked with so many adopted children I know just how screwed the system is for those adopting or trying to adopt.
I wish none of you are ever in the position I have been in. I assume (and I apologise profusely if this incorrect) that none of you have.
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Jul 2021
11:23pm, 7 Jul 2021
22,403 posts
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Serendippily
Indeed phal
My unpopular opinion was going to be about cherries
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Jul 2021
12:12am, 8 Jul 2021
7,949 posts
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The Great Raemondo
I'm really sorry to hear you've had such awful experiences, phal.
As I said on the previous page, I understand that it's an intensely personal, emotional, and often heartbreaking process and set of decisions to make, and I never intended trespass on anyone's grief over it.
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Jul 2021
6:16am, 8 Jul 2021
3,671 posts
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phal
Your initial comment from last year was a two footed, welly boot jump straight onto it.
The thing I am most sorry about is that I found this thread in the first place. I have accepted where we are but it’s been a fucking long journey. People are entitled to their opinions, but they also need to understand that comments and thoughts need to be measured and the effect they can have one other people. Wherever that is - talking to a person in real life or as someone behind a keyboard.
I think the conversation needs to stop there and return to the initial reasons for this thread - the unpopularity of plastic straws, whether or not you like cherries or whether you like football or not.
Comments about things that can cause as much upset and offence as whether people choose to use medical assistance to try to reproduce, whatever their situation is a little beyond the original remit of this thread I
think.
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Jul 2021
6:20am, 8 Jul 2021
3,171 posts
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Minnie Mad
If you can't reproduce naturally you should accept it? Really? It's 14 years since I discovered that I couldn't reproduce naturally, and whilst I've done my best to get on with my life and I am grateful for my one blessing, and have come to terms with things, it still upsets me a bit and I still feel upset around babies.
And my niece and nephew who were conceived via IVF bring so much joy to the family I know it must have been worth it for their parents.
And having worked with looked-after children for 10 years, adopting is a difficult and challenging process that requires very special and dedicated people who can cope with daily challenges and heartbreak, and I know I'm not strong enough to do it.
I'll keep working on accepting all of that shall I? I might have managed it in another 10 years!
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Jul 2021
7:03am, 8 Jul 2021
7,950 posts
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The Great Raemondo
I've spent longer so far, mm, trying to get a handle on the trauma and abuse I endured from my biological mother, and losing my father to suicide. Giving up on trying to accept that it happened and it's up to me how I move on doesn't seem like a great plan, but everyone's circumstances are different.
Sometimes you get really shitty luck in life, or sometimes it's not as impersonal as luck and you just suffer because of other people's actions over which you have no control.
Accepting things you can't change is fairly well tried and tested as a method of trying to get on with life anyway.
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Jul 2021
7:06am, 8 Jul 2021
3,674 posts
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phal
Stop. Stop now. Really.
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Jul 2021
7:08am, 8 Jul 2021
3,675 posts
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phal
I am so sorry for your experiences, but this is not the place or the time for all of this.
It will end up with more people being triggered and upset and it is not right.
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Jul 2021
7:11am, 8 Jul 2021
7,951 posts
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The Great Raemondo
Whatever you say.
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Jul 2021
7:46am, 8 Jul 2021
74,403 posts
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Gobi
Unpopular opinion is you are allowed to have an unpopular opinion
The point is that in here it can be shared
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What really grinds your gears?
Dec 2024