Hi ,
It looks like you're using an ad blocker.



The revenue generated from the adverts on the site is a critical part of our funding - and it's because of these ads that I can offer the site for free. But using the site for free AND blocking the ads doesn't feel like a great thing to do, which is why this box is so large and inconvenient. Some sites will completely block your access, but I'm not doing that - I'm appealing to your good nature instead. Did you know that you can allow ads for specific sites, whilst still blocking them on others?

Thanks,
Ian Williams aka Fetch
or for an ad-free Fetcheveryone experience!

Daft as a deathmatch (24-06)

23 watchers
Nicholls595
Nicholls595
Aug 2024
1:18pm, 2 Aug 2024
32,009 posts
  • Quote
  • Pin
Nicholls595
I would be interested to know if the policeman in 'allo 'allo actually said "I was pissing by the door" or if it was one of those things we all remember, that didn't actually happen?
GregP
GregP
Aug 2024
1:27pm, 2 Aug 2024
152,738 posts
  • Quote
  • Pin
GregP
I remember “I was pissing by your coffee when I spotted two tits”
TROSaracen
TROSaracen
Aug 2024
2:08pm, 2 Aug 2024
28,152 posts
  • Quote
  • Pin
TROSaracen
Good Moaning" for "Good Morning" (his catchphrase);
"I was pissing by the door, when I heard two shats. You are holding in your hand a smoking goon; you are clearly the guilty potty." for "I was passing by the door, when I heard two shots. You are holding in your hand a smoking gun; you are clearly the guilty party.";
"Do you have the lung-dostance dick?" for "Do you have the long-distance duck?";
"And who is peeing for the ponsoir?" for "And who is paying for the pissoire?" after it was damaged by an overriding tank;
"Your mither-in-loo does not look very well. She is more wronkled and higgerd than usual!" to Madame Edith, mistaking her for Madame Fanny.
"It is a dick night" for "It is a dark night";
"Half pissed sox" for "Half past six" ;
"Will you please stop bonging the bill" for "Will you please stop banging the bell";
"I have good nose" for "I have good news";
"I will go out the bock pissage" for "I will go out the back passage";
"I have my dirty to do" for "I have my duty to do";
"In my bog I have a kak" for "In my bag I have a cake";
"I thonk it would be woose if we all left tin" for "I think it would be wise if we all left town";
"Too loot, the bummer is already on the wee" for "Too late, the bomber is already on the way";
"I have a mop if you would like to take a leak" for "I have a map if you would like to take a look";
"I have the two British earmen in the sill at the poloce station, I will return them to you as soon as pissable" for "I have the two British airmen in the cell at the police station, I will return them to you as soon as possible";
"Do not weary, Ronnie" for "Do not worry, René";
"I have come to collect my bersicle - René asks "What bersicle?" - "The bersicle that produces the electrocity for the roodio when you piddle in your wife's mothers' bedroom" for "I have come to collect my bicycle. The bicycle that produces the electricity for the radio when you pedal in your wife's mothers' bedroom";
She's as possed as a newt" meaning "She's as pissed as a newt" Referring to René's mother-in-law.
"I was raised in Nipples. As they say - see Nipples and do." while explaining to Herr Flick his strange accent, standing for: "I was raised in Naples. As they say - see Naples and die."
One of his only lines that received almost no garbling produced one of his longest laughs:

"They will take this spinner (spanner) and unscrew their nuts.";
"I was wonking at you!" for "I was winking at you!";
"The British Air Farce have dropped their bums on the water works..They have scored a direct hot on the pimps" for "...a direct hit on the pumps";
"You must get your hands on some girls' knockers" (knickers);
"There's obviously no piss for the wicked".
"Outside you coffee under the limp post are a couple of tits" for "Outside you cafe under the lamp post are a couple of tarts"
Nicholls595
Nicholls595
Aug 2024
2:15pm, 2 Aug 2024
32,010 posts
  • Quote
  • Pin
Nicholls595
Excellent:-) Thanks @TROSaracen

Anyone who doesn't say "Good Moaning" at least occasionally, has something wrong with them
Gobi
Gobi
Aug 2024
2:16pm, 2 Aug 2024
81,506 posts
  • Quote
  • Pin
Gobi
True that Nico
TROSaracen
TROSaracen
Aug 2024
2:22pm, 2 Aug 2024
28,153 posts
  • Quote
  • Pin
TROSaracen
I’m off to ride my Bersicle….
GregP
GregP
Aug 2024
2:49pm, 2 Aug 2024
152,741 posts
  • Quote
  • Pin
GregP
Header updated
TROSaracen
TROSaracen
Aug 2024
2:50pm, 2 Aug 2024
28,155 posts
  • Quote
  • Pin
TROSaracen
😃
Derby Tup
Derby Tup
Aug 2024
2:57pm, 2 Aug 2024
67,182 posts
  • Quote
  • Pin
Derby Tup
I hated allo allo and have never heard anyone say good moaning without thinking they’re idiots
GregP
GregP
Aug 2024
3:23pm, 2 Aug 2024
152,744 posts
  • Quote
  • Pin
GregP
Potty

About This Thread

Maintained by GregP
Deathmatch closed 21/08/24
===

GOLD: Basil Brush, a fictional fox on British television

SILVER: Toothbrush, a brush designed for cleaning teeth

BRONZE: Pastry brush, also known as a basting brush, a cooking utensil used to spread oil or glaze on food
BRONZE: Paintbrush, a brush used to apply paint or ink
  • Show full description...

Related Threads

  • deathmatch








Back To Top

Tag A User

To tag a user, start typing their name here:
X

Free training & racing tools for runners, cyclists, swimmers & walkers.

Fetcheveryone lets you analyse your training, find races, plot routes, chat in our forum, get advice, play games - and more! Nothing is behind a paywall, and it'll stay that way thanks to our awesome community!
Get Started
Click here to join 114,034 Fetchies!
Already a Fetchie? Sign in here