Who We Are
There are several categories of people dealing with drink in a thread. This article summarises some of the great stuff that the thread has brought up. Link (roll over me to see where I go)Please add to it any thoughts or ideas you have. e.g. more benefits Extra headings too e.g. coping mechanisms, favourite non-alco drinks etc.
The uniting factor is that we are all positive and supporting of each other and our efforts. I think that's it. Or possibly that we're all cute, smart, gorgeous and lovely. Can't remember.
There are three 'thread traditions' at the moment - confusingly (for some, not others) numbered 1, 3 and 10:
TRADITION 1: Our common welfare must come first, personal recovery depends on thread unity.
and
TRADITION 3: The only requirement for thread membership is a desire to stop, cut down or control drinking.
and
TRADITION 10: This thread has no opinion on outside issues; hence the thread's name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
Categories
Categories include:- stopped or want to stop completely and permanently
- cutting down to a very low limit and permanently
- cutting down (to a nothing, a low limit or a lower amount) temporarily for a specific goal such as weightloss or target race
Technique
The technique recommended for almost all though is:1. Only think about today (Don't beat yourself up about yesterday and don't worry about tomorrow)
2. Have a goal, have a standard, have a limit, have a rule (but don't beat yourself up if you don't hit the target - it's an target to aim at, not a stick to beat yourself with)
3. List the benefits, remember the benefits, enjoy the benefits, give yourself the benefits (see Benefits, below)
4. Actions and distractions - give yourself things to do, avoidance of the time or situation that makes you drink or think of drink. Drink other things, do other things.
5. Fetch, fetch, fetch! Here to help, advise, sympathise, congratulate, support and generally love you!
Well done everyone for committing to making today a day to meet your non-drinking target!
GBenefits
Some of the benefits...... getting rid of that 3 or 4 on a fri or sat night helps with all those benefits - money, more time, better training etc. And if it's good enuf for the gingah ninjah...!
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... (once it becomes a permanent thing) that NEVER having to think about planning who drives, how to get back, how to pick folk up etc. is a really good one. I haven't used a taxi on a night out for 5 years. Neither do most of my family and close buds when I'm out with them cos they know I can always give them lifts. And I don't mind at all. Why would I? I'm in perfectly good shape to drive. It helps them out. Saves everyone money. Gets everyone home safely. And my gawd, is there some dodgy talk from the laydeez in the car on the way home sometimes! Lol. That's half the fun!
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... just keep trying to recall the benefits as motivation (more energy, sleeping better, training more often, eating less 'rubbish', less empty calories...).
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... Just off to collect son and his mates home from the school prom. Another benefit of not drinking Fit to drive at midnight.
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... Better sleep, better mood in the morning, better patience through the day. And I am not clock watching to the time when I can legitimately have a drink. That has to be a good thing.
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...
If you want to lose weight, sharpen up for a specific race, feel less fuzzy some mornings, train better, get some more time in your life, save a bit of cash - then you can cut down to e.g. max of 3 or 4 drinks a week (could be in one session if you want) and might only be for teh 12-16 weeks of a pre race training period. If you want to be able to drive any night you are out, to never be out of control, to always know what you said, to never stumble, never have a hang over etc. but still want and are able to taste 1 drink, then cut down to 1. But you have to commit that it is only 1 today and only 1 tomorrow. Finally, if you just don't want the stuff to pass your lips, because you know it's a slipperly slope every time, because you want to be at a point where it's not in your life at all, then you want to choose the goal of zero alcohol today and each of your todays.- - -
...If you are a parent, it is likely that your children will drink alcohol as a result of seeing you drinking. Parents are the main influence on their children, so to bring them up in a realistic, alchol free household must be beneficial to them in deciding not to drink alcohol themselves.
One added in 2015, prompted by springtime and return of warm, sunny weekends:One thing I try to do is get out of the mentality that not having alcohol means you can't have any of the other nice bits e.g. lovely sunny day, sitting in the garden (or pub or waterside restaurant or whatev) can still be done with sparkling water. The nice bit is: sun, warm, friends (or alone with a book), people watching, listening to birds/water, resting, relaxing etc. All those and more are still there. Still allowed.
In fact, they are even more "allowed". Because instead of 1 hour of that nice experience turning into 6 hours, 50 quid spent, falling off your chair at the end of the night, eating too much, spilling food on yourself, tripping over getting into taxi, 30 quid cab home, no chores, running or other things done, late up next day, half that day wasted etc. Instead, you can just do it for 1-2 hours, get the best of the sunshine, then get on and do something else. Or do it for 6 hours if you like and spend the 50 quid on lovely food. But you still get home, do a couple chores, get up the next morning at 8am and have a brilliant next day too.
Enjoy the benefits peeps! We're all doing great.
GNegatives (that you will get rid of!)
- - -Alcohol is a depressant. It will heighten any low feelings or supressed anger. It's likely these feelings will be vented on the people closest to you (friends, loved ones), alcohol does not allow you the control to keep anything negative in check. Drinking will not make you feel better.
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People think they drink to forget. Nope/ wrong. You drink to remember! That is why we often reminisce about exes, relatives who have passed away and so forth after a few drinks.
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Alcohol is an aggravator. It makes reasonable people act rashly. It makes small trivial things worthy of arguiing or fighting over. It can make you braver and more confident, leading to you taking on fights and arguments that aren't winnable which ultimately converts to making you feel worse about yourself.
* disclaimer - all the above is my own musings and drivel and constitutes wafflings from my navel without any scientific or knowledgeable basis whatsoever!
Stories (cos we all love a tale!)
HappyG (pre 2005 when I decided sober was better than this!)Title: A Random Weekday Night
Mine would go, "Sheesh tough day. Need to unwind. Wee glass of red wouldn't go amiss. Actually, bit of a sit down with some food. Top that glass up. Maybe watch a wee bit TV. Yes, important to relax. I'll just have another. Quite big glasses these. And some crisps or maybe these nuts. Mmm, go nice with this wine. Just top that up. Oh, hang on, bottle seems to be finished. Well, programme's not even finished. Shame to waste these snacks too. I'll just open this other red here. Hmm, that looks like a nice one. Good movie on now too. Might just settle in for this one. I'll just bring the bottle through. Important that it's at room temperature. I'll take some more those nice nibbles too. This movies great. Just what I needed to take my mind off things. Gets better as this bottle goes down too! Great film. Actually, better pop to the loo. Oops, bit of a stumble there. I must be really tired from work. Gosh nearly midnight. That's OK, because I'll sleep really well. Right, unpause the film. Have another glug. Not sure I'm following this completely though. Ish perty cornplicarted stowry. Mibbe I droopped off a bit zere? Anyway, nother wee one, bottles neearley dun anyways. Oops. Spirlled a bit there on carpet. Neermind. What? Eh, ah sh*t, wassatime anyway? Stupid film anyway. Sshhh, better go QUIETLY to bed, oops. Sorry. SOORY. Right. Night. Right. Kay."
If I was lucky it was just a bit of a fuzzy head in the morning, some snack crumbs in the sofa and a red wine stain on the carpet. Some glasses and bottles to clear up in the morning. If I was unlucky it was late to work, feeling sick, tired and grumpy the next exvening and having to apologise to missus for being bliddy annoying in the night. Or worse.
Gawd, I'm glad I don't have to go through any of that any more. Stay strong everyone. You know it's better without!
GResources and Contacts
A great app that tells you how much money you've saved and how many units avoided etc.I Am Sober app
Link (roll over me to see where I go)
Drink Aware (WP likes because it tracks but doesn't nag)
Link (roll over me to see where I go)
And the all important fabulous services:
Alcoholics Anonymous
Link (roll over me to see where I go)
National Helpline (FREE) 0800 9177 650
help@aamail.org
Al Anon
Link (roll over me to see where I go)
020 7403 0888
Contact TBOGUA
We're adding in our own Fetch offer of one to one contact too, for anyone who doesn't want to post in the thread for whatever reason. Please feel free to fmail ANY of the names listed below.- - - -
HappyG(rrr)
Oscar the grouch
mrs shanksi
Derby Tup
iaincr
Love Lettuce
DocMoye
LindsD
GregP *star* star
Joopsy *star* star
Note: we're none of us experts, but we're happy to listen, to answer any questions and to offer support if you think it would help you. Except star marked above. Who are experts!
(Note II: at Christmas some names may change a bit, but I'm sure you can still find us to fmail!)