Fetcheveryone Member of the Month

pedroscalls asks: Congratulations on the MoTM win, my question is, if time and money was no object what race or route would you love to do.

Ocelot Spleens says: I have never been one for travelling around to go to a race. I think that held no interest for me whatsoever. I tend to think a race, and how you do is a result of how well you trained, nothing else, and that's what the race result tells you, how well did your training go. I feel there is no need to go anywhere other than locally for most distance. Here in the Peaks you can do anything from flat 5 and 10ks, to good H and marathons, plus fell races and huge Ultra challenges.

The two furthest races I went to were the Edinburgh marathon, I figured it would be cooler than London, even in May, as I dislike heat. It turned out to be 80+F. I also ran the Liverpool HM. Both involed meeting a few mates/family, and the race was a way of facilitating and expanding those visits. All my other races were pretty local to where I was living at the time.

Having said all that, I might like to do something like the Bolderboulder 10k, looks mental, but It would be part of some other big trip, and my running is a bit pants these days.

Incidentally. I am totally incredulous at people who travel for parkruns, ok, if you are somewhere, go, but not to run a 5k, I have seen people fly places, run a parkrun, and fly back, that is madness. There was one guy I remember talking to said he had visited 50 different parkruns in a year, 50 5ks he said, I just thought so what, you sat in a car a lot.

Pothunter asks: Congratulations! What would you have for your “death row” meal? Starter, main, dessert plus something to wash it down.

Ocelot Spleens says: Food excellent!

I think some of my favourite food has been in Spain. I have a definite tendency to remember meals in particular situations and as a result, enjoying the food. Once was San Sebastian (San Sebastian is great for food) and a bar that served mussels and you could choose a glass of something from the local White wines. A stag do in Barcelona, chorizo sausage and pink fizzy wine in a bar in the old town. A seafood restaurant in Madrid, again a stag weekend away, where I asked to go into their cellar and choose our wine, they were great, I spent a fortune on posh Rioja, the rest were not so happy!

Slightly more romantically, a walking holiday with OH, from Switzerland to Northern Italy. Chiavenna, I had grilled prawns, a saffron rissotto, and a pannacotta, all stuff I could make myself. However, we had hiked for a week in weather ranging from sunny ward days, to snow on the mountains, to peeing rain, and we were starving, plus it was Sunday, and we hadn't realised how touristy the town was, and everything was closing down, so we managed to get on a nice table in the corner and it was great!

Rather more prosaically, one meal, that springs to mind was a freezing cold day in the Cotswolds, late lunchtime, a pint of Donnington best and a chicken and ham pie, it was fantastic. Than I was lucky enough to eat at Jamie Oliver's Fifteen. Best meal out ever, not that it was that great, I just felt everyone was there to make sure you had a good time.

As much as I like a beer, with food, I like wine more, so maybe I would go prawns and white burgundy, lamb and rioja, blue cheese and sauterns (maybe icewine). I seriously could go on all day about food, but basically I feel time and place is as important as anything you might eat and drink.

ptr_runner asks: Congratulations! Now, what would your superhero power be and why?

Ocelot Spleens says: I did think about being able to jump just 5 or 10 minutes into the future, see the result of the 2.30 from somewhere like Ascot, jump back, and put a few quid on the winner. Just once a week would do, nothing greedy. Then I thought, that's a bit selfish. I don't think I would want to be some super-fast runner, what's the point of that, you get enjoyment out of running by improving yourself, or by doing as well as you could in that race, right then. Then I thought, hang on, the one sport I was ok at was cricket not football although I played a lot later. I got disenchanted early on, not getting picked for the secondary school really cheesed me off. I should have carried on, I perhaps should have gone to a club (not easy/cheap in london) and played there, instead I sulked (this happened a lot with me when younger), so super power, perhaps a good leg-break ball and googly, perhaps a decent out-swinger :-)., at a good pace :-).

Mushroom asks: Congratulations. If you could only enter the same one event each year, what would you choose for the next 20 years - a favourite you've done before, or something new?

Ocelot Spleens says: There's four races that have stuck in my head now I have thought about it.

White Horse 5k, Gloucester, old school, £2, packets of biscuits as prizes, flat course, only 100 entrants, 4 races all summer, re-used race numbers, bits of card with numbers written on them, hand times, start finish next to a pub/restaurant

Sale Sizzlers, not so cheap, 4 all summer, fast course, excellent goody bag, you would get dragged to a fast time by all the others, super-fast front of the race. Chit-chat after.

Kinder Downfall fell race, an absolute pig in terms of hills, helter-skelter down, I was genuinely beside myself with nerves the time I did it. I wish I had ran it more more, a real sense of achievement when you finished.

Trafford 10k, again fast course, expensive, early in the year, it told you exaclty where your training over the winter had gone. Celebrity paid pro runners at the front, Helen Clitheroe, McColgan.

But, as I ran it so often, Bourton 10k, flat fast, pb course for me, good prize (sponsor gave out gold coins no less), anyone could go, sold out in a day when online. Cirencester AC went mob-handed, 40 or even 50, Feb. Cold, again it informed you of your winter training, good laugh with the club after, used to hang about for coffee and cake, even for a post race walk and beers.....that would do for me.

westmoors asks: Congrats. If you could meet anyone, past or present, who would it be and why?

Ocelot Spleens says: Tony Adams.

Fantastic player, great bloke, a proper leader. I remember Dennis Bergkamp's biography, talking about when things were going badly, they looked to Tony Adams. That'll be Thierry Henry, Robert Pires, Marc Overmars, Dennis Bergkamp, Patrick Viera, wanting to know what Tony said. He has done no end of good since retiring. Execclent Biography about how difficult a game professional Football is, and the pressures they are under.

I think I could say the same for Marcus Trescothick and Brian Moore in terms of just how taxing playing sport at the highest level is.

GimmeMedals asks: Congratulations. Well deserved. If you were Prine Minister, what would you change and how would you pay for it?

Ocelot Spleens says: Excellent question, I have no political affiliation these days, they all seem to be pandering to the lastest swing issue rather than a set of policies that make sense. Anyway, I think it's fairly easy. Tax. The tax system is basically iniquitous. Currently the cost of living, food, energy, renting and buying a house, makes things extremely difficult for people, even on a living wage, and even for people and families earning a decent aunt of money. This isn't a matter of of just raising the percentage of the higher rate, it's about raising thresholds so that the lower paid pay no tax whatsoever, let's say 25k, something like that, and then a rise in the higher rate. I think I would also be looking at VAT being very much higher of very expensive stuff. The unbalances in how schools and hospitals are funded/invested in different areas is also awful. Having lived down south until my late 40s, it is so obviously unfair how well the South and South East does,

RRR-CAZ 🇬🇧 asks: Congratulations If were to be offered 2 golden tickets to any sporting event what would you choose to watch ?

Ocelot Spleens says: I think it would be Test Matches at Lords. I used to be able to get tickets for those games. However so many wanted them, and there is so much corporate stuff there now that it is ballot only, and I think you even pay to be in the ballot. Then cricket has the gaul to say it is a game for everyone, it certainly is not, as I said earlier, I think I would have loved to play cricket when I was 11,12,13, but really I couldn't, not in the school team, could not afford to g to a club. My mates are members at the Oval now, they go and have breakfast there before work, watch an hour after work, lovely, you need a bit of dosh though. I think, when I properly retire, I'll become a member somewhere, not Lancashire, Old Trafford is too soul-less, Derbyshire maybe, I Loved Taunton.

Having moaned, I dearly wish to have been at Lords whe England won the cricket world cup, that must have been great!

.B. asks: Congrats. What is your favourite Arsenal memory, and did you bet on them to win the PL this year?

Ocelot Spleens says: Loads. Obviously the Championship winning win at Liverpool in 1989 was amazing, but that was the culmination of a few years hard work by the team and GG. I think losing the league cup against Luton was very important in that the Arsenal all said, that isn't happening again, and it drove them on. I also remember a particular couple of games, one was beating Liverpool 4-0. They turned up, and they put put a really defensive team (they always did, but always looked to nick a goal or tow), this lot was there for the taking. It had Limpar, Merson, Wright, all at their best, and Liverpool were rubbish, and historically it's Liverpool that win stuff, not United or City.

facebook.com

The punch-up at Old Trafford, stuffing it up Fergie, pizza-gate and all that. I also very well remember winning 5-1 at Wimbledon in August 1988, the start of the 88089 winning year, and we absolutely shredded them, and they didn't give up 5 goals easily, at home as well.

Of course there's Spurs. Especially going 1-0 down at Spurs, and winning 2-1, Rocastle and Thomas doing well. That spawned a fanzine, 1-0 down, 2-1 up. Seaman was great that day. There's the Arsenal fans throwing Mars Bars at Gazza, and blow-up dolls at David pleat, marvellous stuff! Vindication is best though, losing THAT semi final to Gazza's free kick, I was right behind it, it was seriously going to miss by yards as it left his boot, and flew in, that won them the game, knocked Arsenal out. There's beating SPurs 5-0 away, but best is Tony Adam's winning header in ANOTHER FA Cup Semi final v Spurs!

Nicholls595 asks: Batting Wrigglers. Best pub you've ever been to and why?

Ocelot Spleens says: On that there FB, I take a photo of every NEW pub I visit (incidentally I had a couple of mates up last night and I bagged 4 new pubs last night ), and I have done since July 2009. I am just on 700 new ones. There are lots and lots of favourites, for different reasons, beer, food, good night out, lots of beer, pubs are for different things depending on what you're doing.

What I really like these days, is a decent few beers, a Pale, a bitter and something else, good food, doesn't need to be special, can be any style of food as well, I do not like TVs and loud music, and the chnace of a good glass of wine, and a nice place to actually sit there and take it all in. Those sort of places, are pretty few and far between. I can find lots of beer pubs, I can find lots of food pubs, I can find really good food pubs, I can find loud noisy pubs, but ones that hit al of the above in one go are rare. Te one, that I have marked out in all that time is The Ostrich Inn, Newland Gloucestershire, right over on the border with Wales. We had a hike, late Monday Lunchtime, it was ope, nice food, nice beer, old pub built late 1600s, very good all round.

theostrichinn.com currently shut as they are repairing stuff!

As an aside, the pub I visited the most ever was The Twelve Bells in Cirencester, I Lived there for 18 years, I probably went to the pub 2 or 3 times a week, a couple of pints each time, sometimes with the Mrs, ate there a couple of times a month. I once spent a wet Saturday afternoon trying to work out, with the landlord, just how much money I had spent in there, it was thousand and thousands. He used to give me free beer Christmas day!

McGoohan asks: What are your top three films of all time? And congrats!

Ocelot Spleens says: Very difficult. I so very rarely like a film that it's incredible, I think it's much like school, university, work, fetch, everything, I can take art for a while, but I have a very short attention span, I am talking half an hour, even if I really like something. I can also be very critical of everything, and I find most films, to be frank, bollocks, they're just mediocre stuff made to try and make some cash or further a career, and don;t start me on hollywood and the propensity for supposedly great actors making lots of money for VERY OLD ROPE and HAM, see Judi Dench, Hugh Grant, Meryl Streep etc, etc, etc. Reading, even though I don't do that much of it, is much more rewarding, you have to think about it. I also find the experience of the cinema, awful, people eating smelly food noisily, talking, general fucking about, NOPE, it's all wrong. Usually I find a visit to the cinema crap. I reckon, if I sat here for a while, I could work out every film I have ever seen at the cinema, I would think it doesn't get to 50, nowhere near 50. I don't watch films at home either, there's better things to do like press ups, or listening to cricket and football, or cook food. I will have a go though, as I can remember a few where it finished and I thought yep, that's good.

Shallow Grave
Alien
I have a very soft spot for Bloody Kids.

HappyG(rrr) asks: Congrats! Remind me why the Snake become the Ocelot? G

Ocelot Spleens says: I ran the Bath Half Marathon, 2009 with a couple of mates, plus some supporters, and I ran a reasonable time, I had done 2 before and both were just outside and just inside 2 hours, and one of the guys said, you're becoming a bit of a Racing Snake aren't you? I thought, no! Still the Racing Snake idea stuck in my head, and when I Joined fetch, I wanted to call myself Racing Snake. Obviously, every middle aged man and his dog wants to called A Racing Snake, so I just added a different word at the front, just because it sounded daft. Alos, as it was back then, 2009 I think. As soon as I posted anything, SaraL said welcome to fetch, what a daft name that is!, so I kept it.

I actually had no intention of hanging around so long and didn't really thnk of it much, I met a few people, Barronessbl and Trin, Lazy Daisy one or two others, and thought I might hang about, but never took to meeting fetchies ( I actually met you ), so I then thought the name, avatar thing means nothing at all, and I could change it all the time, anyone here that reads my blogs of sees my posts would recognise the change quickly enough.

There was a deathmatch, and for some reason, I can't even remember even if it was me, quoted the Monty Python Life of Brian film ( I nearly put that in as a favourite film ), "Larks' tongues, Otters' noses, Ocelot spleens, wrens' livers, badgers' spleens" came up. I thought I could use all those as my fetch name, changing it every 6 months, for the sake of it really. However, I haven't, but I might, Larks Tongues next.

Chrisity asks: What was your favourite Manchester bus?

Ocelot Spleens says: Good question. Obviously for training at the uni, I Use the 42, 23, 25, 11, all useful buses, all a bit worthy, commuter buses, not very nice trips. My local 383/384 route is nice, popping in and out of Stockport, to leafy Marple, such a change in scenery. The 359 out to Hayfield and the Peaks for a walk is good, nice cafe nearby. Maybe here, the 192 Manchester Hazel Grove, basically you never know what will happen. Best bus ever, the 51, Cirencester to Swindon, you never knew if it would arrive, catch fie, break down, witness a fight, catch fire, or get there, if it did get to Swindon the sigh of relief was palpable. On time? Never.

Night-owl asks: Congrats If you were to plan a new race where would it be and how far would it be

Ocelot Spleens says: If I look at my old races, a classic distance that doesn't get run that much is 10 miles. Parkrun has in the main killed 5ks, and seen the reduction in 10ks too, so Half Marathons is the next distance people look at. A 10 mile race, or 5 miles, is quite hard to pace as a result. The 10 mile races I have run in are either hilly ones, Cotswolds, Stockport, or a flat but windy one namely the GSR. I just checked there are 222 10k races listed 150 miles from Stockport, but only 43 10 milers. I reckon I'd have a 10 mile race, somewhere relatively flat, but not windy, esily to get to, that also has a lot of pubs. Norwich has no 10 mile race listed, is flat, and has a great many good pubs.

Ness asks: Congrats, OS. What's your favourite training session that you lead when training athletes? Why? What should every Fetchie always include in their training schedule?

Ocelot Spleens says: There's no one thing. I think, if you actually want to improve, either your time, or your WAVA, over any distance from 1500, to Half Marathon, you want to have a think about how you go about everything you do. Marathons are something else, especially once you get beyond 3 hours 30. I tell people you need to sit down work out how many times you can run a week, and always do that, fit a long run into that, all easy runs and long runs are pretty slow and easy, relative to your current 5/10k pace, then you add strength and core work, and then you add a set of decent quicker work. (notice I don't say speed, I never say speed unless I am talking to a purely 800, 1500m person). That quicker work can be intervals, preferably 400m or more, or hills, preferably longer, as you are building endurance. Recover properly, streaking is nonsense for most. I say endurance because for most, anything from 1500m up is endurance. I say that because most of us run a mile in much less than 5 minutes, the aerobic system takes 3 minutes to get fully working. Even a really fast 1500m will have used 50% aerobic effort by the time they finish the race. Then, try and always build up total mileage, then on the 5th week cut it back, then run quicker from mid spring, race most in Summer, shorter, longer races Autumn and Winter.

I think, if I were to pin once session down that I always do at some point is 5 x 1k,, with 90s standing recovery, 90s because you want to run it as near as damn it to your current 5k pace, if you have a longer recovery, you run too fast. You are improving your fitness with 5x1k, and your ability to pace the race.