Meaningless product descriptions

123 watchers

ChrisHB May 2012 5:09pm, 21 May 2012 7,606 posts	0 ChrisHB Designed with great comfort and good range of motion for race day, comes with lightning dry technology to wick moistures away quickly and effectively, keeping you fresher, for longer. And a UV protection layer, rating at 40 + to help protect the skin from harmful UV rays. Also featuring an inside pocket for storing small valuables item. LIGHTNING DRY - Moisture managment fabric technology which wick moistures away quickly and effectively, keeping you fresher, for longer. UV Protection 40 + - Helps protect the skin from harmful UV rays. Inside Pocket - For storage of small valuables. Reflective Strips - Enhances your visibility in low light conditions. Elasticated waistband - allows for greater comfort and fit Split Design - Allows for greater range of movement during racing. Internal network jacks ----- I'm impressed that a pair of shorts is protection against sunburn. Small valuables is presumably a couple of £1 coins. I'm not sure that lightning is the best way to dry anything. But above all, I do not need my shorts to have an internal network.
Frobester May 2012 5:10pm, 21 May 2012 19,664 posts	0 Frobester And who is this fellow Jack who works in internal networking, anyway...
GregP May 2012 6:55pm, 21 May 2012 60,175 posts	0 GregP Crikey. Internal network jacks. My word.
JohnnyO May 2012 7:03pm, 21 May 2012 12,958 posts	0 JohnnyO I feel that most of that is fairly standard twaddle. The internal network jacks are however something new and extraordinary. I must get me some.
eL Bee! May 2012 8:28pm, 21 May 2012 17,762 posts	0 eL Bee! Who knew that carbon was SO versatile....?? ""Giordana Body Clone FR-Carbon Bibshorts SS12 Body Clone garments are the cutting edge of the Giordana cycling apparel and are designed to perfectly contour the body. The new styles are designed on a curve, to follow the anatomical shape of the body in the riding position, allowing more freedom of movement and comfort. Technological innovation and the highest quality fabrics with carbon fibers allow maximum breathability and body temperature regulation making Body Clone garments the perfect choice for summer training. The FormaRed-Carbon™ Bib Short is constructed on a curve to clone your body’s natural riding position throughout a range of motion. The shape of the panels eliminates puckers and creases by ergonomically following the body’s contours. FR-C Bibs utilize HC-44™ high compression fabric for precise fit, incredible performance and maximum comfort. A second fabric appears pinstriped due to the threads of carbon woven into it. The carbon element controls stretch and reinforces the strength of the material, allowing it to be lighter, yet stronger. Carbon has the added benefit of reducing electrical interference from cell phone towers and power lines that can negatively affect performance. The carbon fabric is utilized around the waist where it wraps internal organs with protective carbon, delaying the onset of fatigue. • In the uppers and at the cuffs the Aerofix Gripper System™ holds the bibs perfectly in place with a seamless feel. Next to the skin the fabric is perforated to create pockets of air and to allow airflow to pass through. The result is a light, breathable grip that keeps the skin cool and dry underneath. • An anatomically shaped rear panel of micromesh is treated to enhance moisture management and cut to conform to the body on the bike. • Four needle flat-stitched seams help to control stretch as well as isolate muscle groups. • Reflective elements add visibility for safety. • The FR-C Bibs feature Giordana’s newest top of the line Cirro OmniForm™ insert. The pad comfortably contours to the body in motion and returns to its original shape after every ride.""
McGoohan May 2012 8:44pm, 21 May 2012 6,148 posts	0 McGoohan I love this: "to clone your body’s natural riding position throughout a range of motion. The shape of the panels eliminates puckers and creases by ergonomically following the body’s contours." Er... doesn't any clothing that's made out of some sort of cloth - as opposed to, say, wood or metal - do this? Ideally all your clothes should bend I think as a minimum.
ChrisHB May 2012 9:00pm, 21 May 2012 7,607 posts	0 ChrisHB Do cell-phones damage a runner's performance as well?
JohnnyO Jun 2012 8:29pm, 12 Jun 2012 13,164 posts	0 JohnnyO "For sufferers of bad flatulence caused by Crohn's Disease, IBS and other gastric disorders, often the use of certain flatulence treatments fail to remedy the problem. Flatulence medicine like charcoal biscuits or charcoal tablets can in some cases offer little or no effect against excessive flatulence. Shreddies Intimate Apparel has the solution. Using a unique method of filtration using activated carbon cloth, Shreddies underwear can remove the malodorous gases from the most severe flatulence. Not only do they offer relief to those with flatulence problems, but in the case of the men's support and adjustable support boxers, they can also give testicular and groin support, for hernia patients. For more information and feedback on our flatulence filtering and support underwear, please refer to the FAQ's and Testimonial section of our site. Mens Styles of Shreddies Flatulence Underwear Boxers The support boxers lift a man's package forward ensuring a snug fit under the gusset which provides excellent flatulence filtration and support. This patented technique has never been seen before. Simple mechanics lead us to anchor the testicular hammock from the hip using a taut waistband and lycra sling. Lifting the genitals up and forward from their usual position enables the carbon filter which continues as far forward as the scrotum to fit snugly against the skin. Flatulence odours are therefore forced to pass through it even when sitting with legs apart or slouching. Even the most malodorous flatulence will be completely filtered if it passes through the carbon filter." Not necessarily meaningless, but certainly worth sharing. They also use the phrase 'testicular hammock' which I am going to try to work into conversation more.
Nellers Jun 2012 8:32pm, 12 Jun 2012 21,542 posts	0 Nellers That, Johnny, has made my night. Where do I get a pair?
JohnnyO Jun 2012 8:40pm, 12 Jun 2012 13,166 posts	0 JohnnyO myshreddies.com For all your fart filtering needs!