Jun 2008
6:54pm, 5 Jun 2008
462 posts
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Chopperhound
WW I am guessing it was a filthy mattress but Davy Double Dog wasn't exactly the best turned out gent being a tramp and all. To continue...
Dabbado: Dabbado was a strange wee character who kind of spoke in tongues. His real name was Stephen but he could only say (or what appeared to be) "dabbadabbadabbdo". His regular order was 4 LCL pils and 10 regal king size. The best bit was when he was in the queue and as he "dabbadood" his request we would get the LCL pils and cigs for him to the amazement of other customers who thought I could speak fluent idiot.
Hate the Kids: This was a curly bloke who regularly came in with his two kids (one boy one girl immaculately turned out). He would go for a few bottles of red wine and scream at his littuns if they so much as looked like were going to touch something.
Eugene the Hat: Basically a mute cripple with a beard, two crutches and a choice of baseball cap. One hat said "This Hat stops at every bar". The other one said "Michael Jackson King of Pop".
Dorothy: Strangely also called Eugene. A cross dresser who had a penchant for fortified wine and cutting his own balls off with wallpaper scissors.
Wee Alan: A Psychotic plasterer who was about 4 foot tall and bore a grudge. A student once made the mistake of announcing in the queue "let this wee man through to the till". We had to get the police to sort out the kill zone that ensued.
Buckfast Boy: This was my personal nemesis. A greasy student who thought that bottles of buckfast were graded by the bottlling machine number impressed on the base of the bottle. From memory I think there were 12 bottlers so you had bottles with the numbers 1 thru to 12 impressed on it. This fucker would wreck my Buckfast display by pulling out and rejecting anything from a 5 to a 12 seeking out the more palatable 4, 3 or 2 and if at all possible the holy grail "1". We used to (of course) hide all the 1's and try to seel them to him at a premium when he was pissed. Happy days.
I could go on. There's a feckin book in this I think.
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Jun 2008
9:55pm, 5 Jun 2008
472 posts
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Chopperhound
I fogot to mention:
Derek the Binman: Derek looked kinda like Animal off the Muppet Show. He pushed a hand dustcart and drank on the job. He regularly ran into the shop in a panic asking us to hide him from his supervisor.
They were all BAST*RD ANNOYING!
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Jun 2008
9:58pm, 5 Jun 2008
301 posts
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PaulaMc
CH - Get BigMick to collaborate - you'll have a best seller in no time! Annoying they might have been but you could be right about the book ...
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Jun 2008
8:57am, 6 Jun 2008
384 posts
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Watford Wobble
Pleased to report that my annoying little colleague got stuck right royal around Chiswick yesterday due to the burst water main. Two and half hours from H/row to BSI office. Fantastic, thank you Lord.
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Jun 2008
10:14am, 9 Jun 2008
7,710 posts
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Hills of Death (HOD)
My boss is back I've got to tell her what she's NOT doing......She's aint interested YEP YEP YEP I'll do that.
Your body language is telling me otherwise !
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Jun 2008
11:30am, 9 Jun 2008
5,024 posts
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BigChiefRunningBore
yah?
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Jun 2008
12:08pm, 9 Jun 2008
603 posts
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CrazyLegs
People who shout down the phone at people, no the entire office is not interesting in what you are saying! SHUT UP!!!
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Jun 2008
12:31pm, 9 Jun 2008
52 posts
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Aitchbee
She who must be obeyed has come into the office wearing her race for life medal. Apparently it was a really gruelling course cos the grass in the park was a bit wet.
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Jun 2008
12:32pm, 9 Jun 2008
23,283 posts
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Puddington
PMSL!
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Jun 2008
1:05pm, 9 Jun 2008
392 posts
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Watford Wobble
My annoying little vegetarian, Talibanic, environmentalist, Buddhist colleague has got the hump with me. If going into town I offer a lift. He being the great environmentalist sucker never offers but is quiet prepared to ponce a lift off me and my polar bear killing machine. Luckily the wifey made lunch so no need for trip into town.
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. Result.
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