With apologies to Pam Ayres
8:32pm, 26th Jan 2022 | 19 Comments
Blog by Fields
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Reading a blog this evening, I had the idea of reworking Pam Ayres' poem "I wish I'd looked after me teeth" into a cautionary tale about not doing your stretches and core strength. I never did and regret it now.
Here's the poem, I hope you like it
Oh, I wish I’d done me stretches
Copied the figures in my physios sketches
I used to run so many races
But now can't bend to tie my laces
Oh, I wish I'd done me stretches
I wish I'd not chosen to ignore
When they said to build your core
Not me; I did a speed session
My one concern: PB progression
Strength work to me an utter bore
When I used to race for hours
Through sun and snow, and wind and showers
No time I had for a pre-race jog
Instead was queueing for the bog
The need to pee would overpower
My coach, she told me no end
"What doesn't break, won't have to mend"
I was young then, didn't listen
New running shoes I had to christen
No need for me to stretch or bend
Yoga and Pilates were never done
As for strength work not begun
Rarely thought of lifting weights
No cross training for me awaits
Not worth the time when I could run
If to the future I could see
Plantar fasciitis, runners knee
My shin splints and a dodgy hammy,
Would combine for a quadruple whammy
I'd do my stretching - yes siree!
So I lie here on a massage couch
Can't run no more, a total grouch
I really don't think it's such a laugh
How much I pay the osteopath
He works my glutes - and I scream "Ouch!"
How I laughed at others stretching
Instead I spent my spare time fetching
Now I admit the sorry truth
I'm not the runner of my youth
Oh, how I wish I'd done me stretching!
Here's the poem, I hope you like it
Oh, I wish I’d done me stretches
Copied the figures in my physios sketches
I used to run so many races
But now can't bend to tie my laces
Oh, I wish I'd done me stretches
I wish I'd not chosen to ignore
When they said to build your core
Not me; I did a speed session
My one concern: PB progression
Strength work to me an utter bore
When I used to race for hours
Through sun and snow, and wind and showers
No time I had for a pre-race jog
Instead was queueing for the bog
The need to pee would overpower
My coach, she told me no end
"What doesn't break, won't have to mend"
I was young then, didn't listen
New running shoes I had to christen
No need for me to stretch or bend
Yoga and Pilates were never done
As for strength work not begun
Rarely thought of lifting weights
No cross training for me awaits
Not worth the time when I could run
If to the future I could see
Plantar fasciitis, runners knee
My shin splints and a dodgy hammy,
Would combine for a quadruple whammy
I'd do my stretching - yes siree!
So I lie here on a massage couch
Can't run no more, a total grouch
I really don't think it's such a laugh
How much I pay the osteopath
He works my glutes - and I scream "Ouch!"
How I laughed at others stretching
Instead I spent my spare time fetching
Now I admit the sorry truth
I'm not the runner of my youth
Oh, how I wish I'd done me stretching!
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