A Long Weekend
2:31pm, 26th Jul 2021 | The Outlaw Iron Distance Triathlon | 22 Comments
Blog by EvilPixie
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Thank you all for the kind words below xx
You’re right I had trained hard and better than ever.
Ultimately I let myself down and I stopped myself.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
So back to Saturday morning.
Time to finalise packing, load the car, prep fuel and head to Nottingham after lunch.
Already I was nervous. Already I experienced waves of feeling sick. But I was sure once on site I’d settle. I was terrified and excited all at once. I could see the finish and knew it was game on.
I got in the car and again nerves hit but when I got there it was like phew I’m finally here.
I located the pirates and chatted. Explained my nerves and had the same level of support I’ve had here. They have seen mystrava and repeated I’ve trained hard and could do it.
Off to rack my bike. Loooong transition and my bike was 7 from the end so close to the exit but a long run to bike. Bags packed and in pegs and the confidence returned.
A brief bit of shopping and I bought an outlaw cycle top as whatever happened I knew I’d worked bloody hard to be here and that alone was an achievement. Then back to the campsite.
They pirate massive including our lovely fraggle formed an action plan based around ensuring I finished the run. The swim wasn’t mentioned even the bike was ok. They were taking my drink with them and pretzels for me to grab as I went by on the bike. Then 2-3 would be on the run course to ensure I did it.
They literally said anything I want shout. Drugs coat food they would be there. Being volunteers for 10 years they know the OSB staff and wearing volunteer shirts meant they could get away with it!!
I went to bed and could feel my heart rate was raised (over 100) and, like fraggle had a restless night.
Alarm off at 3:30 to eat. Taking a trick from Ian Thorpe I watched the movie in my mind of everything going smoothly.
But the nerves were there. Fraggle escorted me to transition and I felt sick. Standing in the loo queue I wasn’t sure how I’d be using it! I’d taken 3 Imodium over an hour before but still my whole body was unhappy.
Breathe
Off to the start. They were running late.
The instructions read, as with fraggle’s swim 1-2 in every few seconds.
At the half I went for the middle pontoon but yesterday I went for the top one so the straightest course.
We get there and they are just rushing us in 6-8 people starting at once mainly dive bombing in the water was like a washing machine.
I managed to get a space to step in as planned and it wasn’t bad but waves everywhere. Splashing and bodies.
With adrenaline flooding my body (tbh it’s been there for 36 hrs) the anxiety hit. My head said just move so I did breaststroke but wasn’t moving much.
Looking at garmin this lasted several minutes before I was able to move properly. Then again it hit my wetsuit seemed too tight and breathing was hard. I did breaststroke again swearing at myself getting frustrated.
Relax
Then bang. Retching. Stop can’t do anything struggling to stay afloat. Retching. The safety dude is closer calling to me. Then I literally lose my breakfast. Breathe.
Slowly I regroup. My heart rate drops and oddly it’s like my body had released something and back to normal.
Back on it. I know I’m not swimming straight but I’m swimming. I was really struggling to see the bouys. They were so far apart and I was swimming blind. Like fraggle I also had a moment of this this the turn? Bollox no.
The water seemed colder as I got to the end of the lake! I felt I was swimming into a breeze and alone apart from the safety dudes.
I turned thinking it would feel easier now but it didn’t happen. I saw a canoe in front of me and thought I was being stopped then it moved.
I then spotted another and cussed before noticing he was with another swimmer. This gave me a boast and I managed to pick up and get going.
The weeds were shocking but I caught and overtook the swimmer. My head started to think maybe. If I could sneak the time I could do it.
Still struggling to sight I finally spot the end.
I get to the beach. Normally the exit is up a concrete slop covered in matting. Even at the half there was matting but here the mat was only out of the water.
I tried to get up and failed. As I did this I spotted the ref stood in the middle of the mat and knew. I literally crawled up the pebbles as he said we need a chat. I’m timed out I said. Sorry he replied. I just broke down in tears at his feet.
The race volunteers and OSB staff and even the remaining crowd were amazing. As I cried my heart out they were all so supportive with comments about I trained and started and they couldn’t etc.
10 mins later and I’m still in tears.
The volunteers got together my bike and kit bags and were
super.
I then took my stuff back to my tent and headed off to see the pirates.
I pottled. It was a hard ride and I wanted to turn back but also wanted to help out.
When we got back to campsite I quickly realised I needed quiet and me time. It’s only the 2nd time I’m not stayed to the end (the other time was the monsoon of 2019)
In reflection I let myself down. It was my inability to control my nerves that stopped me.
I need to manage that.
I’ll be back. I NEED to slay this dragon.
But there’s work to do first and I know what needs fixing.
Thank you all for your support xx
You’re right I had trained hard and better than ever.
Ultimately I let myself down and I stopped myself.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
So back to Saturday morning.
Time to finalise packing, load the car, prep fuel and head to Nottingham after lunch.
Already I was nervous. Already I experienced waves of feeling sick. But I was sure once on site I’d settle. I was terrified and excited all at once. I could see the finish and knew it was game on.
I got in the car and again nerves hit but when I got there it was like phew I’m finally here.
I located the pirates and chatted. Explained my nerves and had the same level of support I’ve had here. They have seen my
Off to rack my bike. Loooong transition and my bike was 7 from the end so close to the exit but a long run to bike. Bags packed and in pegs and the confidence returned.
A brief bit of shopping and I bought an outlaw cycle top as whatever happened I knew I’d worked bloody hard to be here and that alone was an achievement. Then back to the campsite.
They pirate massive including our lovely fraggle formed an action plan based around ensuring I finished the run. The swim wasn’t mentioned even the bike was ok. They were taking my drink with them and pretzels for me to grab as I went by on the bike. Then 2-3 would be on the run course to ensure I did it.
They literally said anything I want shout. Drugs coat food they would be there. Being volunteers for 10 years they know the OSB staff and wearing volunteer shirts meant they could get away with it!!
I went to bed and could feel my heart rate was raised (over 100) and, like fraggle had a restless night.
Alarm off at 3:30 to eat. Taking a trick from Ian Thorpe I watched the movie in my mind of everything going smoothly.
But the nerves were there. Fraggle escorted me to transition and I felt sick. Standing in the loo queue I wasn’t sure how I’d be using it! I’d taken 3 Imodium over an hour before but still my whole body was unhappy.
Breathe
Off to the start. They were running late.
The instructions read, as with fraggle’s swim 1-2 in every few seconds.
At the half I went for the middle pontoon but yesterday I went for the top one so the straightest course.
We get there and they are just rushing us in 6-8 people starting at once mainly dive bombing in the water was like a washing machine.
I managed to get a space to step in as planned and it wasn’t bad but waves everywhere. Splashing and bodies.
With adrenaline flooding my body (tbh it’s been there for 36 hrs) the anxiety hit. My head said just move so I did breaststroke but wasn’t moving much.
Looking at garmin this lasted several minutes before I was able to move properly. Then again it hit my wetsuit seemed too tight and breathing was hard. I did breaststroke again swearing at myself getting frustrated.
Relax
Then bang. Retching. Stop can’t do anything struggling to stay afloat. Retching. The safety dude is closer calling to me. Then I literally lose my breakfast. Breathe.
Slowly I regroup. My heart rate drops and oddly it’s like my body had released something and back to normal.
Back on it. I know I’m not swimming straight but I’m swimming. I was really struggling to see the bouys. They were so far apart and I was swimming blind. Like fraggle I also had a moment of this this the turn? Bollox no.
The water seemed colder as I got to the end of the lake! I felt I was swimming into a breeze and alone apart from the safety dudes.
I turned thinking it would feel easier now but it didn’t happen. I saw a canoe in front of me and thought I was being stopped then it moved.
I then spotted another and cussed before noticing he was with another swimmer. This gave me a boast and I managed to pick up and get going.
The weeds were shocking but I caught and overtook the swimmer. My head started to think maybe. If I could sneak the time I could do it.
Still struggling to sight I finally spot the end.
I get to the beach. Normally the exit is up a concrete slop covered in matting. Even at the half there was matting but here the mat was only out of the water.
I tried to get up and failed. As I did this I spotted the ref stood in the middle of the mat and knew. I literally crawled up the pebbles as he said we need a chat. I’m timed out I said. Sorry he replied. I just broke down in tears at his feet.
The race volunteers and OSB staff and even the remaining crowd were amazing. As I cried my heart out they were all so supportive with comments about I trained and started and they couldn’t etc.
10 mins later and I’m still in tears.
The volunteers got together my bike and kit bags and were
super.
I then took my stuff back to my tent and headed off to see the pirates.
I pottled. It was a hard ride and I wanted to turn back but also wanted to help out.
When we got back to campsite I quickly realised I needed quiet and me time. It’s only the 2nd time I’m not stayed to the end (the other time was the monsoon of 2019)
In reflection I let myself down. It was my inability to control my nerves that stopped me.
I need to manage that.
I’ll be back. I NEED to slay this dragon.
But there’s work to do first and I know what needs fixing.
Thank you all for your support xx
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Just retired and enjoying rediscovering the fun of different runs in different places.My old pre fetch blog for when I get bored and want a good read is athlete-in-training.blogspot.com (thanks vrap!)
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