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Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

2 lurkers | 148 watchers
LindsD
LindsD
Jan 2021
6:23pm, 31 Jan 2021
44,732 posts
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LindsD
((Beebop))

((XB))

We also had a toilet incident just before Dad died. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, but I very much sympathise.
MarkyMarkMark (3M)
MarkyMarkMark (3M)
Jan 2021
6:24pm, 31 Jan 2021
14,163 posts
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MarkyMarkMark (3M)
Sorry to hear about your dad, Beebop.
Little Miss Happy
Little Miss Happy
Jan 2021
6:29pm, 31 Jan 2021
4,246 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Sorry for your loss Beebop.

It is a difficult situation XB, if appropriate some light humour is often helpful along with a lot of practicality if that makes sense. Try to take the emotion out of the situation.

MiL is having a reaction to her vaccination, glad I prepared her and she has a meal to reheat, paracetamol to hand and the knowledge that it's to be expected.
Mandymoo
Mandymoo
Jan 2021
6:34pm, 31 Jan 2021
11,054 posts
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Mandymoo
Sorry for your loss Beebop
Lip Gloss
Lip Gloss
Jan 2021
6:36pm, 31 Jan 2021
48,449 posts
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Lip Gloss
So sorry beebop heart
LazyDaisy
LazyDaisy
Jan 2021
6:56pm, 31 Jan 2021
32,442 posts
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LazyDaisy
I'm sorry for your loss beebop xx

Toilet incidents with my Mum too when she was still able to leave the care home to come and stay. I found the best way for me to deal with it was sympathetic but quite matter-of-fact, a bit like I imagine a nurse might be. As Mum was a nurse on a geriatric ward in her 50's I think that was the best way for her too. But it's a horrid example of how undignified old age can be :-(
Grast_girl
Grast_girl
Jan 2021
7:22pm, 31 Jan 2021
1,953 posts
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Grast_girl
Sorry for your loss Beebop, but glad lurking here has been helpful.

((XB)) Very hard for you both.
poppyH
poppyH
Jan 2021
7:59pm, 31 Jan 2021
1,227 posts
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poppyH
I'm sorry Beebop. (())
kaysdee
kaysdee
Jan 2021
8:16pm, 31 Jan 2021
179 posts
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kaysdee
((XB)) I’m sorry. I know it’s the reverse and my son is only 17, but people don’t get how that might be an issue as he has full personal care and double incontinence needs. I know I’m his mother and he has had disabilities so I’ve been doing this since birth, but his body has still developed. Did you get the night carers started... how is it going?

((Beebop)) what a shock for you.
beebop
beebop
Jan 2021
8:22pm, 31 Jan 2021
1,783 posts
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beebop
Thanks, all. Definitely a shock. Not sure I believe it yet, especially as his father lived to about 95. Must be true, because I’m digging through bank statements and deciding how many death certificates to get. Never quite expected to be doing this.

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk
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